Poster of The Onion Movie

The Onion Movie

Plot: Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion
Release Date: Saturday, May 31 2008
15 years ago
External Links
IMDb logoExternal Link Icon
Scroll to Crew

Cast

Portrait of Len CariouLen Cariou
Len Cariou was
68 in The Onion Movie
as 'Norm Archer'.
Sat, Sep 30 1939
Portrait of Steven SeagalSteven Seagal
Steven Seagal was
56 in The Onion Movie
as 'Cock Puncher'.
Thu, Apr 10 1952
Portrait of Larissa LaskinLarissa Laskin
Larissa Laskin was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Dana Dobbs'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Ken TakemotoKen Takemoto
Ken Takemoto was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Sensei'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Don McManusDon McManus
Don McManus was
48 in The Onion Movie
as 'Dennis McCormick'.
Sun, Nov 08 1959
Portrait of Michael BoltonMichael Bolton
Michael Bolton was
55 in The Onion Movie
as 'Michael Bolton'.
Thu, Feb 26 1953
Portrait of Ahmed AhmedAhmed Ahmed
Ahmed Ahmed was
37 in The Onion Movie
as 'Ahmed'.
Sat, Jun 27 1970
Portrait of Brendan FletcherBrendan Fletcher
Brendan Fletcher was
26 in The Onion Movie
as 'White Black Guy Tim'.
Tue, Dec 15 1981
Portrait of Daniel Dae KimDaniel Dae Kim
Daniel Dae Kim was
39 in The Onion Movie
as 'Ivy Leaguer'.
Sun, Aug 04 1968
Portrait of Meredith BaxterMeredith Baxter
Meredith Baxter was
60 in The Onion Movie
as 'Cooking Show Chef'.
Sat, Jun 21 1947
Portrait of Jed ReesJed Rees
Jed Rees was
38 in The Onion Movie
as 'Wizard Proteus'.
Sun, Mar 08 1970
Portrait of Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield would have been no older than
82 in The Onion Movie
as 'Rodney Dangerfield'.
Tue, Nov 22 1921 –
Tue, Oct 05 2004
Portrait of Ahmed B. BadranAhmed B. Badran
Ahmed B. Badran was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Peruvian'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Brian PowellBrian Powell
Brian Powell was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Typical Neighbor Husband'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Scott KlaceScott Klace
Scott Klace was
47 in The Onion Movie
as 'Kip Kendall'.
Mon, Jan 09 1961
Portrait of Barbara PilavinBarbara Pilavin
Barbara Pilavin would have been no older than
81 in The Onion Movie
as 'Alzheimers Old Lady'.
Thu, Sep 27 1923 –
Sun, Jan 02 2005
Portrait of Sandy KenyonSandy Kenyon
Sandy Kenyon was
85 in The Onion Movie
as 'Alzheimers Guy in Crowd'.
Sat, Aug 05 1922 –
Sat, Feb 20 2010
Portrait of Orlando SealeOrlando Seale
Orlando Seale was
35 in The Onion Movie
as 'Producer'.
Mon, Jan 01 1973
Portrait of Erik StolhanskeErik Stolhanske
Erik Stolhanske was
39 in The Onion Movie
as 'Producer'.
Fri, Aug 23 1968
Portrait of Sarah McElligottSarah McElligott
Sarah McElligott was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Melissa Cherry'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Randy OglesbyRandy Oglesby
Randy Oglesby was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Surgeon General'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Kwame BoatengKwame Boateng
Kwame Boateng was
16 in The Onion Movie
as 'Dibo'.
Sun, Jan 05 1992
Portrait of Richard FancyRichard Fancy
Richard Fancy was
64 in The Onion Movie
as 'Kenneth Garber'.
Mon, Aug 02 1943
Portrait of Alex SolowitzAlex Solowitz
Alex Solowitz was
28 in The Onion Movie
as 'The Masses'.
Sat, Dec 15 1979
Portrait of Savannah HaskeSavannah Haske
Savannah Haske was
30 in The Onion Movie
as 'Rapist Lisa'.
Fri, Nov 18 1977
Portrait of Rebecca LowmanRebecca Lowman
Rebecca Lowman was
38 in The Onion Movie
as 'Rape Victim Julie'.
Wed, Feb 25 1970
Portrait of Jim GleasonJim Gleason
Jim Gleason was
44 in The Onion Movie
as 'Steel Beam Architect'.
Sat, May 30 1964
Portrait of Michael HarneyMichael Harney
Michael Harney was
61 in The Onion Movie
as 'Line-Up Detective'.
Thu, Aug 29 1946
Portrait of Angel CassidyAngel Cassidy
Angel Cassidy was
32 in The Onion Movie
as 'Porn Star'.
Tue, Feb 03 1976
Portrait of GaugeGauge
Gauge was
27 in The Onion Movie
as 'Porn Star'.
Thu, Jul 24 1980
Portrait of Robert HoffmanRobert Hoffman
Robert Hoffman was
27 in The Onion Movie
as 'Lollipop Love Dancer'.
Sun, Sep 21 1980
Portrait of Joel McHaleJoel McHale
Joel McHale was
36 in The Onion Movie
as 'Office Worker'.
Sat, Nov 20 1971
Portrait of Harry Shum Jr.Harry Shum Jr.
Harry Shum Jr. was
26 in The Onion Movie
as 'Lollipop Love Dancer'.
Wed, Apr 28 1982
Portrait of Kevin FederlineKevin Federline
Kevin Federline was
30 in The Onion Movie
as 'Lollipop Love Dancer'.
Tue, Mar 21 1978
Portrait of Bo BarrettBo Barrett
Bo Barrett was
>> in The Onion Movie
as 'Wigger Jim'.
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Chrissy MetzChrissy Metz
Chrissy Metz was
27 in The Onion Movie
as 'Heavy Girl'.
Mon, Sep 29 1980
Portrait of Marshall ManeshMarshall Manesh
Marshall Manesh was
57 in The Onion Movie
as 'Announcer'.
Wed, Aug 16 1950
Portrait of Greg CipesGreg Cipes
Greg Cipes was
28 in The Onion Movie
as 'Hippie Diplomant'.
Fri, Jan 04 1980
Portrait of Nick ChinlundNick Chinlund
Nick Chinlund was
46 in The Onion Movie
as 'Bryce Brand'.
Sat, Nov 18 1961
Portrait of Jim RashJim Rash
Jim Rash was
37 in The Onion Movie
as 'Bryce's Manager'.
Wed, Jul 15 1970
Portrait of Paul ScheerPaul Scheer
Paul Scheer was
32 in The Onion Movie
as 'Bates Computer Salesman Dirk'.
Sat, Jan 31 1976
Portrait of John VienerJohn Viener
John Viener was
35 in The Onion Movie
as 'Peen Out Guy'.
Mon, Jul 10 1972
Portrait of Gedde WatanabeGedde Watanabe
Gedde Watanabe was
52 in The Onion Movie
as 'James Nakatami'.
Sun, Jun 26 1955
Portrait of Chris VillaChris Villa
Chris Villa was
40 in The Onion Movie
as 'Gay Guy'.
Fri, Aug 04 1967

Crew

Portrait of Mike MaguireMike Maguire
Director
Mike Maguire was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Tom KuntzTom Kuntz
Director
Tom Kuntz was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Maryse AlbertiMaryse Alberti
Director of Photography
Maryse Alberti was
54 in The Onion Movie
Wed, Mar 10 1954
Portrait of Robert D. SiegelRobert D. Siegel
Writer
Robert D. Siegel was
36 in The Onion Movie
Fri, Nov 12 1971
Portrait of Todd HansonTodd Hanson
Writer
Todd Hanson was
39 in The Onion Movie
Thu, Oct 10 1968
Portrait of David MinerDavid Miner
Producer
David Miner was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Gil NetterGil Netter
Producer
Gil Netter was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Michael RotenbergMichael Rotenberg
Producer
Michael Rotenberg was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of David ZuckerDavid Zucker
Producer
David Zucker was
60 in The Onion Movie
Thu, Oct 16 1947
Portrait of Kevin HalloranKevin Halloran
Co-Producer
Kevin Halloran was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Jason WeissJason Weiss
Co-Producer
Jason Weiss was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Frederick WardellFrederick Wardell
Editor
Frederick Wardell was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Asche & SpencerAsche & Spencer
Music
Asche & Spencer was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Henry Kingi Jr.Henry Kingi Jr.
Stunts
Henry Kingi Jr. was
37 in The Onion Movie
Wed, Jun 03 1970
Portrait of Kevin KavanaughKevin Kavanaugh
Art Direction
Kevin Kavanaugh was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Jon Gary SteeleJon Gary Steele
Production Design
Jon Gary Steele was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday
Portrait of Casey StormCasey Storm
Costume Design
Casey Storm was
>> in The Onion Movie
Unknown Birthday